Desert Day

The other week, I had a desert day. It was one of those days where you don't feel Jesus near you and you feel lost in the desert. Maybe it won’t last for forty days and forty nights, but these days do suck. We use the loving fuel of Jesus to strengthen our days ahead, so if we don't have that fuel we can’t function. If you ever get stuck in one of those days, don't panic because I don't believe he really left us. What I think happens is that it's maybe our time to listen. Sometimes I feel like my relationship with Jesus is often one-sided, because I can't hear him. I’m busy in my head praying all the time for my vocation, praying for someone in need or asking him where my husband is. All these things are good, but if you are always in your head how is he to get a word in. This may sound strange but I have found a new practice of prayer. I placed a picture of Jesus on my wall, and I lay prostrate on the ground in front of him, with this prayer from a Friar who always has the best advice. 

“Lord, I don't know what it is you want for my life, but I give you a blank check, my life, whatever it is, fill it in. I say yes! But what I need from you is light to be able to know what your will is for me.”

Fr. Malacky, CFR 

If laying on the ground is too much for you, you could kneel or sit however is most comfortable for you. Going to daily Mass and receiving him in the most Blessed Sacrament is a great way to keep a great connection with Jesus. There is nothing more special than being in communion with him on a daily basis. When Father holds Jesus up as the host, my heart flutters as if I was a little girl seeing her best friend at the playground. Maybe go to adoration later that day if you can’t make it to Church and sit with him in silence. Another thing Fr. Malacky mentioned about adoration is to go without anything and sit in silence with your Savior. This could be the start of your relationship sprouting again and it's one visit away. 

For me, a Desert Day could last a few days, but once you find out why you're in a dry spot with the Lord, you can reopen your heart to him in a different way than before. It will sprout a different kind of relationship, hopefully a deeper one.