Do you have trust issues and didn’t even know you had them? Well, last week I realized I had some trust issues with God. After I finished writing the article from last week I felt a little bit like a hypercrate. Not because it wasn’t true, but because I think God was bringing me down with humility. Everyone struggles with one thing or another. From the way you look, to the way you dress, or maybe you are self-conscious by something else. The last thing I want to do with these articles is boast considering there is nothing in my life to boast about. I have been in my head going around and around about what my vocation is. What I have discovered is, I have a problem with complete trust in God. Which I didn’t think I had because I thought I fully trusted him. It has nothing to do with the love or fear I have for him, I just think my timeline of being married and having kids is earlier than his. Sometimes it can be hard waiting. That is why while I am waiting I am trying my best not to lose focus on God and trust that his timing is the right timing. And maybe I am the only one who struggles with the wait. I don't know, sometimes it's nice knowing you're not alone and the struggle is real among all young women. Not that I wish the struggle on anyone.
“A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God”
- St. Faustina Kowalska
When a situation arises in your life and brings forward fear and you hear God say “Let it go unto me,” listen to him. Putting your love in God is the most rewarding thing to heal a soul. When I was younger, I watched a really unhealthy show. And I watched every episode and there are around 18 seasons. I stopped watching around season 10, because my trust was nothing. I didn’t trust anyone in the world and I had to start all over with how to trust people again. It was years since my last confession. My mom and I went up north by my grandparents and I went to my first confession after a long time. The weight that was lifted when I came out of the confessional was beyond everything I will ever experience again. When the confession line didn’t give me the nervous sweats, I started going to adoration. From there my heart opened to Jesus one visit at a time. The lesson from it all wasn’t that I had to learn how to trust every single human I passed on the street. What I learned is that I just needed to trust one man and I found him in the tabernacle. Months after adoration, I would be walking down the street and without knowing I trusted others through my trust with Jesus. That is a teaching I will always preach, because it's one of the ways I ridded evil from my life forever. Don't get me wrong, every once in a while I feel those feelings creep up on me, but I smile because I know who my Savior is. And may his name live forever in our hearts.
Jesus, keep us in your prayers.
Below link is the litany of trust. Please read it, absorb it and never forget it. It could save a crappy day.
