Goodbye

Goodbye 

The forever we never shared 

Goodbye to the man I thought would have come for me. You would have changed, gotten healthier and realized I was the one for you. I’ve been waiting for quite some time, but God has me moving on now. I can’t say that I’ll never stop looking for you in crowds or wanting a version of you finally wanting me. I can only imagine now that you aren’t coming for me. I pictured our future and how much we would laugh together. A walk in the rain holding your arm tight so I don’t fall. Pancakes at 2 a.m. I imagined you finally knocking at the door, calling out my name. To hear my name through your lips again, those butterflies and that grin you gave me that I haven’t seem to lose yet. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep with you in my mind, and there you are in every dream. At some point I knew you had to go, but I got used to you being in my mind. I will always love your bright green eyes looking down with that smile you only saved for me. Like I said God has me moving on, I never want to say goodbye to the maybe we might have been. But here I am saying it. 

Goodbye to what could have been with us. Goodbye to our imaginary last hug, the last time you looked into my eyes, the last time you smiled at me. The last time you giggled my name, our last late night drive with my head out the window and the last song we sang together. This guy God has me moving on with will treat me right. He will love my heart, not just my body. He will speak kind words over my life and he will pray over me when I’m feeling down. I thought you were perfect in the light but the shadows really show the truth. I will never regret what we could have been. But here is where I leave us, on this page full of what could have been. 

Goodbye.